How To Convince Someone To Go To Rehab
Medically reviewed byDavid Hunter, MA.Ed, LPC
June 29, 2021
One of the hardest things to watch is a loved one stumbling down the road of addiction. It is important to recognize the signs of addiction and know how to help them get into treatment. Here are some ways to help get your loved one the help that they need.
Talk With Them One-On-One
The first step to getting your loved one on the right path is making sure you take the time to sit down with them and lay everything on the line. Time and place is everything. Make sure you pick a moment when both of you have open schedules so that there is no need to rush. Pick a comfortable and private place to engage.
A familiar and cozy place will help both of you relax and ease into the conversation, and make sure to do it where you will not be interrupted or overheard. Finally, make sure your loved one is in their right state of mind. If they are intoxicated or high, they will not be able to fully focus and understand the importance of this intervention. Once the setting is right, it’s time to launch into the meat of the heart-to-heart.
Get treatment when
and how you need it.
Be Upfront and Honest
You are about to launch into one of the most important conversations of your life and your loved ones, so you better be prepared and know what to say. Even if they may not seem receptive, it’s still important to make sure you cover the bases because they will absorb at least some of it.
The first thing you have to make them understand is that you will no longer tolerate their addiction. This means drawing a line at making excuses for their behavior or condoning their abuse by purchasing their drugs or alcohol for them. It means drawing a line in the sand and making sure that they understand that you are disapproving of their actions.
Following the bad cop routine, it’s now time for the good cop to come out. Tell them how much you love and care for them, and that’s why you are doing this act of tough love. If they didn’t matter that much to you, then you wouldn’t be wasting your time trying to convince them to get help for their problem.
Explain to them the consequences of their actions. If they have lost a job, dropped out of school, ruined friendships, or a number of other detrimental things due to their drug problem, then make sure they understand the correlation. They may be facing financial strain due to their substance expenditures, or they may not be able to take care of their child under their current state, or they may be in the process of destroying a marriage. Whatever the horrible reality, make sure they come to terms with the fact that their habit is not only affecting themselves but all those that they care about as well.
Depending on their reaction, be open to continue the conversation or be willing to walk away and cool down if things get heated. Do not rise to the bait of any pointed fingers, lies, or excuses.
Try A Group Approach
If a one-on-one approach has a limited effect on the addict, then it may be time to bring out the big guns. By gathering a select group of people who know the addict best, you can form a small intervention group. When the user sees all of the people they care about in the same room, making the same confrontation, it may cause them to reconsider their actions. Friends and family can take turns discussing the problem and giving their supportive, yet firm opinion that the person in question needs help.
It may also be beneficial to consider bringing in a pastor or priest in to talk with them if the addict is religious, or a psychologist or counselor is another wise idea, as they will know the ins and outs of the steps of rehabilitation. However, don’t be afraid to do the research yourself. Find rehab centers that are near your area and offer services that would benefit your loved one. Don’t be shy to share this information. Before your talk ends, reiterate everything above, and make sure they know that you will be there to support them every step of the way.
Get Help at RehabCenter.net
If you have a loved one who is in the throes of addiction, contact RehabCenter.net today. We can help you sort through the numerous treatment facilities in your area to find the perfect one.
November 26th, 2013
I feel like honesty is the most important and not enabling them either. Practicing tough love can be, well, “tough” but if you keep giving the addicted individual money, food, and shelter than there is no necessity to get better.
November 29th, 2013
You can’t just sit back and let someone die. I have heard several times about tough love and that just scares me. My family never gave up on me and they just made sure that I went to rehab. The first place I went was an outpatient facility but obviously it didn’t work because I was still close to home and my friends who I did drugs with. My parents did a bunch of research and found a long term rehab. It was far away, and long enough to address every aspect of my life. But I can tell you also they made me go to. They didn’t take no for an answer. I did not want to go to rehab or leave my home town. That was 10 years ago and looking back I thank my parents for making me go to an out of state drug rehab.
June 30th, 2014
I wish my daughter would go. I have been trying to get her to go to a long term program for a long time now. We had to press charges for stealing money from our account. I told her it can all be dropped if she agreed to go to a program. She is considering it, so she says but is afraid of going back to jail. I pray everyday that she just accepts the help and goes. Do you have any suggestions? She is homeless and jobless. She thinks as long as she has a boyfriend to stay w her she is ok. Please help if you can. Desperate Mom
May 14th, 2014
I would like to know where you found a long term rehab.my son needs a long term rehab desperately. He was in NARCANON ARROWHEAD IN OKLAHOMA. Last July. He only stayed 2months. They kicked him out because. 1.he sprayed the fire extinguisher 2.helit a fire in the non working fire place. 3. He lit off smoke bombs. They through him out, suspended him, but he relapse shortly after ht got home and it has been horrible ever since.
please let me know if there is a long term rehab you know of that he can’t leave or get kicked out.
May 31st, 2014
Our addiction specialists can help. Its free and confidential, 800-406-7633 or try emailing us directly and we will contact you. Let us know when a convenient time for you is. Sorry to hear about your son and his struggle with addiction. Hang in there.
September 14th, 2014
my son came back home hooked up with the same old friends and started doing meth again
September 14th, 2014
son came home hooked up with old friends and started doing meth again
September 15th, 2014
Audrey, we are so sorry to hear this. Did he go to rehab and if so what facility. Maybe we can help find a more suitable program.
August 26th, 2015
Miranda, go. You can put the burden of all these pains on someone who knows how to deal with them. It won’t be the easiest thing you’ve ever done, but a whole lot less painful than what you are going though now by yourself. It’s like saying to a bricklayer, ‘hey, I’ve been trying to build this patio but I don’t know what I’m doing.” and he helps you build it. HUGE weight off your shoulders!!!!!
September 15th, 2014
I need to go to rehab but I am scared. I want to get the help that I need. I don’t know what to do at this point….
September 15th, 2014
Miranda, we certainly understand about the fear of entering a treatment center. A lot of our treatment specialists are in recovery themselves so they can relate with you about your addiction. Try giving us a call at 1-800-406-7633 and we will assist in helping you to start your journey to a happy recovery.
January 26th, 2015
I don’t know what to do. My husband is working full time, we have a baby together. I have found drugs in the house, he says that HE does it once in a while, I told him that if he doesn’t stop I will leave. HE keeps doing it, but then throws in my face that,” if I love him why would i leave, if I love him and want to help him why would i leave?” The house is under his name, he needs to work, i work to but idk if I should leave. help
February 18th, 2015
We are sorry to hear this Virginia. Our rehab advisors can help put together a program that is suitable for your husband so he can begin his life sober.
February 24th, 2015
My son has been to rehab 2ce for 7 day stretch each time however the 2nd time almost had charges pressed however the family friend decided not to if he went to rehab. He did stayed clean for probably 4 months. Had a baby boy, and he is a little over a year now, and old habits have started again. He has blown his entire tax refund 5,000.00 in 20 days. I have told him rehab or get out
I can’t take it anymore. He has obamacare but I need to find a rehab out of our home town away from his druggy friends but close enough so we can have his son visit occasionally. Please help. 7 days is not long enough, he has had a loss that I think caused his first drug addiction. Please please help me
February 24th, 2015
Hey Lori, try giving one of our rehab advisors a call at 1-800-406-7633. There are several rehab facilities available that work with the Affordable Care Act.
May 13th, 2015
My very close friend is currently on several benzodiazepines, in addition to pain meds and I fear for her life. She has gone to rehab facilities in the past; which, may have lead to her being so turned off to the idea. She’s lost custody of her children, and I see little progress in making an effort to get them back, and providing a loving home for herself and her girls. Question: are there any inpatient drug rehabs, that accept Medicaid that you’re aware of? She has no financial means to pay out-of-pocket. Thank you in advance. Diana
August 3rd, 2015
I need someone’s help, we really don’t know what to do as a family. My brother is an addict, he has never admitted his drug of choice however we have found syringes and pipes, also pills around the house. It is difficult, whenever he goes too long without his fix he gets very angry and confrontational about stupid things. How can we present it to him, in a way where it’s like an ultimatum. He’s 32 and has been in and out of jail a lot. Please please help me. He has Medicaid, isn’t working and doesn’t really have any money. What facility would take his insurance and be inpatient.
September 24th, 2015
I am trying to find an inpatient drug and mental rehab.preferably 90 day for my brother who is 32 years old. He suffers from Bipolar and has a drug addiction to crack cocaine. He has medicaid and medicare in louisiana. Any help is appreciated.
October 12th, 2015
March 24th, 2016
I have a very dear friend, that has completely lost himself in alchohol. In place of the hobbies that he used to have, is now drinking. Morning, Noon or night, if he’s not at work. He has a very good job, but i wonder if he ever really sobers up. He is married, and that relationship has definatly not been good for him, because his wife says she likes him better when he drinks. YES, she is a miserable character, and we all know what MISERY likes………COMPANY! My friend is 50, and has been carrying on this way for several years now. I care a great deal for him, and since finding out just how bad things were with him, I contacted his brother. I told his brother than if they didn’t ‘get in his buisness’ that they would be burying him soon. (He has 3 DUI’s already, cause he will just drive drunk. When i talk to him, he seems confident he can quit himself. But then again I know he doesn’t want me to think bad of him. I know as a non-family member, I only have a narrow pathway to have contact with him. (His wife is an extremely jealous person, of all women.) I don’t think she wants him to get better. His brother has discussed what he and I discussed, to their parents. I think they have all said something to him about going to rehab. I was really hoping for an intervention, and possibly participate in it. I just want him to get to a point where his head is clear, and he can see things for what they are, and choose to make better decisions. This is very personal to me, and I couldn’t bear to hear that something had happened to him. What would be your suggestion? Currently he’s not living at home with his wife, and says he done living in that environment, but i’ve heard that a million times too. Just know it would be easier to get to him right now.
March 24th, 2016
Albany, please give us a call ASAP at 800-406-7633 so that we can discuss this further with you!
May 1st, 2016
Where would be a good place in tennessee for my daughter who is 23 and is bipolar and has a addiction to alchohol and pot. She has never been treated for either.
May 3rd, 2016
Toni, we will have someone contact you via email ASAP. You can also contact us at 1-800-570-3670 and we can help you locate a treatment center in TN for your daughter!
January 12th, 2017
My heart is broken, I just found out last night that my son has been using meth since October 2016, he suffers from depression and bipolar, you name it. He stopped taking his medicine and is acting like a maniac, I have been calling him and goes straight to voicemail. I have been helping him with rent and had sent money without knowing what he was doing, but my older son told me he went with his dad to see him at his place and they found some drug addicts living there with hi. I don’t live in the same state but will be flying there on Saturday to talk to him, he does not want to be in rehab, he has no job and no insurance. Please advise.
January 13th, 2017
Adela, we are here to help! One of our treatment specialists will contact you via email as soon as possible to advice you on the situation with your son.
July 6th, 2017
I myself am a recovering addict thanks to the Vivitrol shot and Narcotics Annonymous. My current boyfriend who is a caring loving person when he’s sober is the complete opposite when he’s drinking. He puts alcohol above everything else and does not care about any consequences. Understanding the struggle because I was once there I know that he needs to *want* to stop drinking in order for it to work, which he doesn’t want right now at all. Does anyone have any suggestions?
November 5th, 2018
I am a recovering person. So is my my husband. We have two children. My daughter has been on Clonazapam (klonipin) for approximately 13 years. I have been dealing with her addiction since the age of 14. There is a huge history here. She just was arrested 2 times in the past 2 weeks. She was using crack the first time and the second, 4 xanax bars were found in her purse. She WILL NOT go to rehab or detox. Three days ago, we through her out. It is killing me. I am so worried about her it is all I can think about. She is also on Suboxone. She is on disability due to the anxiety. I want her to get help badly but she just won’t go. I don’t know where she is. This tough love stuff is so difficult. I don’t know what to do but pray…..